Past Present Future

What up dear blob... yes. Blob.

My topic for today are the 3 states one would always have. The past, the present, the future.

My past? Well. It ain't all rainbows and sunshine. I've had my fair share of hell. And truth be told? I really despise my past. Currently. My past reminded me of how i was, how much I've changed. The things I've lost. Come to think of it, its pretty bleak most of the time. Childhood was pretty easy. I got a sister to look after me, keep me company. My teenage years are somewhat challenging... with the journey of self discovery and such. Getting an identity is harder on some. All in all, it was a entertaining, i guess.
But adulthood? Man, that shit is pretty messed up as far as i know. So far, my adult life started with the biggest mistake of my life (so far). Yeah, im prone to fuck things up eventually and my point was proven repeatedly. The depression, the acting-like-you're-ok-while-your-life-gets-screwed, the emptiness. So yeah. Adulthood rocks.

Anyway... the future on the other hand, is full of uncertainty. The impending burden, tell tale signs of of up coming fuck up, it'll leave you depressed if not even more depressed. Knowing what's to come, isn't helping to get things easier.

So, by process of elimination, the present should be the best you'll ever have. So live in it. Frankly, i just don't have the energy to give a fuck anymore. It's not that I don't care, sometimes i do, sometimes some things still irritates the fuck outta me, but I ain't got the energy to actually give a fuck

In the end, it boils down to just taking one fucking step at a time.

And just live.

See ya, ya bastards...

Payback.

Have you ever heard of the phrase life's a bitch or payback's a bitch? Basically, everything's a bitch.

My point of today is focusing on payback. The chances of payback sometimes presents itself, all juicy and plump, ready for the picking.

But sometimes, you gotta be bigger than that and hold it in. To let the opportunity slide is something very hard to do, to me personally.
I had to muster a lot of self control to let this sweet, sweet opportunity for revenge past buy. The voices in my head are screaming and cursing me for what i did, or to be exact of what i did not do.

But hey. Im over petty vengeance. I will keep my head held high.

Hey, don't get the wrong idea. You're gonna get what's coming to you. But the question is when and how. I ain't no saint.

Ja nee...

Never forget

I've forgotten how it felt,
to have you by my side

I've forgotten how it was,
to have a goal, a purpose

I've forgotten what it's like,
to be whole and complete

I've forgotten where i was,
where i am, where i should be

I've forgotten a lot of things, to say the least
but i'll never forget the ones who leaves.

-miqatsum

(12/10/2015)

What up mofos...

as the title states..... what up...
it's been a hell of a time since i last written here
loads of stuff had happened
honestly, A LOT.

so being the dedicated blogger that i am (fuck, who the hell reads my blogs anyway), i think im gonna start writing again...
short accounts of my daily life, NoI thoughts, some pictures if i feel like it...
this will be my outlet..
i think.

well fuck it... im at the point where i don't give a damn anymore.
in light of recent events, one might think that i would delete this blog due to the various history of this...thing.
well guess what.

IM STILL A STUBBORN M*****F*****.

nothing is going to be deleted.


muahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.....

ehem, where was i?
 oh yeah. blogger.
from time to time im not gonna be able to write s**t
so................

to anyone reading this, don't.

see ya some other time dear blog.

saraba.

Time

There will be a time,

when I would be able to sincerely smile

the light sparkling in my eyes again.

There will be a time,

when I would be able to laugh

joyous and unrestraint

There will be a time,

when people ask me if I’m fine

I can answer without lying

There will be a time,

when I would be able to ignore

the emptiness, the gaping void

There will be a time,

when I can be alone

without feeling the clinging loneliness

There will be a time,

when I can enjoy the warm sun

melting the frigid darkness

There will be a time,

when I could go a day

without thinking of what could have been

There will be a time,

when I will be able to look you in the eyes

and do not see the memories

do not feel resentment.

There will be the time…

- Miqatsum