In the shadow.....

I hate the feeling of being in some one elses shadow....
In this case, the shadow of my parents....
I can't seem to escape it....
Almost everywhere I go, people would relate me to my parents.....
Not to blow my own horn.. but my parents are really good teachers....
I mean, really good...
In they hayday, they would make their name known through courses, seminars and such....
It would be an honor to be even the slightest bit like them....

But wht about me?
When will I be recognize as my own self?
Whenever people know I'm my parent's son, they would reflect everything I do to them...
If I did somthing awesome, his their son....

In their shdow.....
Untill I break free of this shadow, I will finally be ME...

A long lost dream...

I think I've mentioned it before...
I really love to read novels...
And with that love, comes a determintion....
I would very much like to make my own novel....

Here I am.....years after that dream etched inself into my brain...
And what do I have to show for it?
Nothing.....
Absolutely nothing.....
Its not like I didn't try, mind you..
I did.... I honestly did....
But somehow, I failed at every attempt....
I had made my dream smaller by trying to make a short story....
Still..... I failed....
I tried to change the ganre or the story and yet....I still failed....

I'm not really sure that this dream would become a reality...
But for me to give up?
Hell no! I'm gonna do this thing.... even if takes me a whole lifetime...
I am gonna publish a book!

That's my new years resolution!

Temper temper disaster....

Go ahead..
Test my patience..
See how far that would get you
Test how far I'm willing to put my head down, enduring all the shit that is thrown at me.

Go on....
Test my good will
Turn that to a sense of obligation
How I take everything and not say a word.

Please...
Test my sincerity...

Regret?
It was long since I used that word.
It might be resurfacing again.

2014~

Heyyo! Tis the new year....
A new start.. a new resolution...
I plan to do a lot of things inthe new year...
To read more...
To understand more....
To work out more...
And the list would go on...

Well, planning is a lot easier than actually doing...
The first day of the classes and already one of my resolve was tested..
I'm starting to doubt my ability to fullfil my resolves for this year..
I just know that this year would be another shitty year...
Meh, cest la vid....

While the chatter of how each and every one spend their holiday and how everyone did on their exams goes all around me, I realized something.....

I'm different.

That's not really a good thing....
I don't have any stories to share cause...well...I don't have any...
My holiday was as boring as boring could be...

I didn't go to some fancy theampark...
I didn't suffer from the flood...
I didn't see any good movies....
.....well......thts not the whole truth....
I saw some pretty awesome movies...but no one to share with... I would really enjoy going to the cinema once in a while...but in my current economic condition, well... let's just say tht I can barely buy food...

I'm getting side tracked here....

The point is.... I don't have anything good to share...
I like to talk... but I'm not that good at conversations....

My battry is running out..
Till next time...
Ja nee....

The King and The Horse

Do you believe in change? A full 360 degree change? 

Well, i don't.

Change how much you want, but the old part of you will still be there.

Lingering about, waiting for the moment to take back the entity that makes you who you are.

So let me tell you a little story...

The King and the Horse.

There was once a King. 

He was powerful. He was invincible.

Words doesn't affect him, actions are nothing but futile attempts.

Nothing could hurt him, for he have no heart.

He treated the whole world as his enemy.

He cut his ties to the world, and that made him stronger.

He was alone, but he was happy all the same.

Of all the riches he has, there was one item that he treasured most.

His Horse.

His Horse was pure white. A blank slate of nothingness.
It was his friend, his only friend.

The King will never apart from his Horse.

Any way the King went, the Horse would follow.

Little by little, the King's personality, his essence was imprinted onto the Horse.

One fateful day, the King met the Enchantress. 

She was the most beautiful maiden in the land, and the King fell for her in an instant.

The King felt something in his hollow chest, something that he never felt before.

The Enchantress had opened the void, where his heart was suppose to be.

The King was confused for he had never experience such things.

The Enchantress brought the winds of change.

This wonderful change comes with a price.

The King had become vulnerable. The King was weak.

The King had to rely on the Horse for power. 

At first, the Horse didn't mind.
He was happy that the King need to use him again.

This went on for a while.

The King played around with the Enchantress and her schemes,
while the Horse was left alone.

Two summer went by and the Horse has a sudden realization.

'Why do I have to bow down to a powerless King?' the Horse thought.

The Horse became black as night itself.
Envy, Pride, Greed, Wrath had turned the pure white horse into jet black.

Thus, a fight over power ensued.
The Horse wants control over the entity that makes the Horse and the King whole.
Will the Horse overthrow the king? Or will the King reign supreme?
The battle never ends.