All that is left

You took away my love,
now I can't let anyone know
that all there is left for me,
is hatred and sorrow.

Broken mask.

Some people say that I'm strong. How I handled things, how i cope, without a soul to turn to. Some see me as a happy and carefree lad, who's only concern is what he's gonna eat next.

Truth be told, i am none of the above. Simply put, I'm just a wanderer, a lost cause, an empty vessel. I need to put up a front. A disguise. A facade. Until even I believe in the lies i crafted.

But at times, these masks will crack. I am only human.

This is such a time.

"I'll hide behind these masks you see
until it becomes a part of me..."

Tear in my heart - Twenty One Pilot

Sometimes you've got to bleed to know,
That you're alive and have a soul,
But it takes someone to come around to show you how.

She's the tear in my heart, I'm alive,
She's the tear in my heart, I'm on fire,
She's the tear in my heart, Take me higher,
Than I've ever been.

The songs on the radio are ok,
But my taste in music is your face,
And it takes a song to come around to show you how.

She's the tear in my heart, I'm alive,
She's the tear in my heart, I'm on fire,
She's the tear in my heart, Take me higher,
Than I've ever been.

Than I've ever been
Than I've ever been
Than I've ever been

You fell asleep in my car, I drove the whole time,
But that's ok, I'll just avoid the holes so you sleep fine,
I'm driving here I sit, cursing my government,
For not using my taxes to fill holes with more cement.

You fell asleep in my car, I drove the whole time,
But that's ok, I'll just avoid the holes so you sleep fine,
I'm driving here I sit, cursing my government,
For not using my taxes to fill holes with more cement.

Sometimes you've got to bleed to know,
That you're alive and have a soul,
But it takes someone to come around to show you how.

She's the tear in my heart, I'm alive,
She's the tear in my heart, I'm on fire,
She's the tear in my heart, Take me higher,
Than I've ever been.

My heart is my armor,
She's the tear in my heart, she's a carver,
She's a butcher with a smile, cut me farther,
Than I've ever been.

Than I've ever been
Than I've ever been
Than I've ever been

My heart is my armor,
She's the tear in my heart, she's a carver,
She's a butcher with a smile, cut me farther,
Than I've ever been.

Past Present Future

What up dear blob... yes. Blob.

My topic for today are the 3 states one would always have. The past, the present, the future.

My past? Well. It ain't all rainbows and sunshine. I've had my fair share of hell. And truth be told? I really despise my past. Currently. My past reminded me of how i was, how much I've changed. The things I've lost. Come to think of it, its pretty bleak most of the time. Childhood was pretty easy. I got a sister to look after me, keep me company. My teenage years are somewhat challenging... with the journey of self discovery and such. Getting an identity is harder on some. All in all, it was a entertaining, i guess.
But adulthood? Man, that shit is pretty messed up as far as i know. So far, my adult life started with the biggest mistake of my life (so far). Yeah, im prone to fuck things up eventually and my point was proven repeatedly. The depression, the acting-like-you're-ok-while-your-life-gets-screwed, the emptiness. So yeah. Adulthood rocks.

Anyway... the future on the other hand, is full of uncertainty. The impending burden, tell tale signs of of up coming fuck up, it'll leave you depressed if not even more depressed. Knowing what's to come, isn't helping to get things easier.

So, by process of elimination, the present should be the best you'll ever have. So live in it. Frankly, i just don't have the energy to give a fuck anymore. It's not that I don't care, sometimes i do, sometimes some things still irritates the fuck outta me, but I ain't got the energy to actually give a fuck

In the end, it boils down to just taking one fucking step at a time.

And just live.

See ya, ya bastards...