the one year mark of our relationship......

a lot of things have changed...

we have changed.....

i have nothing before.....but now, i have you.....

i was heartless and hard to reach....but you soften me up so easily....

i was empty before.....but now, i'm filled with your love.....

i was weak....but you continued to be my strength...

i was hardheaded....even now, but you could still make me do things that i don't want to...

i was so unsure of myself.....but recently, you helped me become me again....

it's true, we have our ups and downs...

all those fights....

all those tears....

all those times that i hurt you....

but hell, i've never been this happy....

the laughs we share...:)

the times we spent....

the memories we made....

the love you give....

if i was to die now, id die a happy man....

never have i found anyone who loves me like you do...

my only regret would be your sadness after im gone.....

damn, i can't continue writing this post...i cant think clearly with tears rolling down my cheek....

so, i'll leave it as it is...

i love you Anum Bt Norazman....so much...

happy 1st anniversary.

life, we learn.

every once in a while, i would be taken aback by how ignorant i am....or have been....
our existence is a lifelong journey of discovery....
either you learn something about the world, or you learn something about yourself....
it truly is magnificent and also mortifying at the same time....
one day you would learn that the world is unfair,
and the next you would learn that you are not as strong as you think...
the world is so vast and mysterious,
there are so many reasons to use for not knowing about the lessons of the world...
but about one self....how far do we know about our self?
what could be the reason for not knowing who we are?

more and more each day i am astounded of how i don't even know myself, the one who's been with me from the start...myself and i....
so this post, is dedicated to self discovery....

sometimes people would ask me, 'tell me a little bit of yourself''
i would be quiet....to think of what to say....
what do i really know about myself?

i know that my heart isn't mine anymore....cause i already gave it to Fake
i know that i am hot headed....its been proven again and again....
i know that i'm not that intelligent....very dumb to be precise :|
i know that i'm just a speck of dust....a nothing....

to list everything, it will take forever.....
but why is it that i would learn something new about myself every now and then?
is this a never ending discovery?
when would i fully understand MYSELF let alone to understand others...

Allah and His creation of me.....i am truly grateful....

so ask yourself everyday....what do you know about yourself.....

:) till next time....

ja nee~

the story of the girl i love.

   she wakes up every morning, the feeling of an ominous cloud hanging above her head. she knows quite well the sorrow that follows her around like a shadow. no escape. but yet, she still smiles for she knows that her sunshine would chase the dark clouds away, no matter how hard it may be, she knows that the warmth of the sunshine is always hers. hers and hers alone. and with every passing moment, her sunshine would slowly but surely shine through the darkness that resides in her heart. by midday, when her sun is at its brightest, she would feel like there's nothing that could hurt her. for the first time in her day, she is truly happy. feeling the warmth of her sun. but sometimes, the sun doesn't shine. the darkness would reign again. the coldness would crept into her heart, making it as cold as ice. but she would never waver. she would still hope her sun would shine. every single day. laughter, smiles, sorrow...all mixed and never missing from her day. with her head held high, she goes through it all without a single regret in her heart. the people around her would hurt her again and again, but she stayed strong. her heart is strong. day by day, betrayal by betrayal. every time she is knocked down, she would rise again, without saying one word. every evening, she would longed for her lover, her sunshine. for she knows she could feel comfort whenever she's with him. she would seek his warmth so she would be warm again after a day of being cold. she would fell asleep listening to his voice, calming her. and every morning, she would have mixed feelings. happy that she felt so calm, but sad because her blissfulness was too short. and her day would start all over again.

that is her routine, that is her life. for now.

she would wish for a perfect life....hoping on her future.
this is her story...where it ends, no one knows...
this.....

is the story of the girl i love

whole again - edge of fire

I will love u till the day I die
I would tell u how much I'll need u everyday
for my life long to love some one like u
with a heart silhouetted the perfect passion

I would try to be a better lover
I don't care if I lose my all
cause it's u I've been dreamin' for this life time
so here's my heart ,waitin' for u to take it baby
Come & take my heart tonite
cause it's u I've been waitin' for all the while
come & take my heart tonite
make me whole again

I see clouds filling up the moon
& the greens turnin' into blue & faded
I would say things were wrong & now I'm missin' u
I will have to make amends cause it'll be till the end

do u think I would stop for what I've been leavin' out these nights
girl I've been cravin' u'd be mine all mine
u are all that have made my life, I won''t let u down this time
baby I want u back here in my life forever