recent event had made me thinking....
what if today was your last day. that there would never again be a tomorrow. what would you do? your last moments....who would you spend it with? what can you do to make it worth while?
these questions crossed my mind as i watch my Fake cry... (al-fatihah to her departed granfather) for the very first time, i saw my Fake cry...heart breaking...she is the strongest girl i ever met, and the news that she received made her cry....and i only stood there. helpless. as i watch her pulling herself together, a feeling of admiration washer over me. my opinion of her emotional strength is confirmed. she is very strong. then it got me thinking....if that would happen to me....how would i react to a news like that? i realize, i am nothing compared to her. as i watch and praised her, the question hit me.
what if i die the next day. only one more day to live.
the first thing that i would do is seek forgiveness...first, from the almighty Allah, and say thanks for giving me a chance to live....then i'll from my loved ones....i would tell my mom thanx for doing such a great job raising me. i'd thank her for all the meals, the fatigue that she had to go through just to make sure i am ok...and i will tell her im sorry for everything that i have done wrong....then to my father, i will say that im sorry for being o rebellious in the past.....and thank him for teaching me how to be a man.... next, my sisters....i'll tell big sis that i approve of her bf. next, the my most important girl, my ANUM, the one who cherished me....the only one who dared to share her heart with me....i'll dont think any words could convey whats in my heart. the only words that came to mind are:
thank you for the adventure. i am sorry. i love you.
i know that its not much, but thats all that i can think of in this sadness.
next, i would spend time with the ones i love. i'll hang out with big sis, i'll talk to little sis, and i will hug mom and dad. and i'll tell them that i love them. then i'll spend time with my Fake...makes sure that she understands that i dont want to see her tears...for my last memory, i would like her to smile... then i would settle all my buisness up here on earth, before the dirt eat me up....
on my last day, i dont want to be alone. i will bathe it the company of friends and family (anum, you are goung to become both)...i'll laugh, i'll have fun. forget about going to see places before you die...i would rather be at somewhere that i am comfortable with...i place like home...i'd eat the most delicious foods (mom's cooking and if possible, anum's too)..i would indulge myself...i would enjoy myself....i won't leave with any regrets
when death comes for me, i will go willingly...i have done enough damage to the world...
if tomorrow never comes.....
