Same Shit Different Day

Monday, April 11, 2016

He.

He loved. Every single time.
He gave his all, held nothing back
and every time he ends up broken and hurt.

He convinced his tattered heart
too many times, he lost count
for each hit he took he wondered when will it be his last.

He loved. Every single time.
Yet for every time he loved
a piece of him will die, lost and never found.

He often told his reflection
to keep his chin up, smile
and steady his trembling heart.

He loved. Every single time.
The only way he knew how
raw, without restraints.

He loved with all he had. Everything.
And now, he has no more.

Thursday, February 18, 2016

History - One Direction

You gotta help me, I'm losing my mind
Keep getting the feeling you wanna leave this all behind
Thought we were going strong
I thought we were holding on
Aren't we?

No, they don't teach you this in school
Now my heart's breaking and I don't know what to do
Thought we were going strong
Thought we were holding on
Aren't we?

You and me got a whole lot of history (oh)
We could be the greatest team that the world has ever seen
You and me got a whole lot of history (oh)
So don't let it go, we can make some more, we can live forever

All of the rumors, all of the fights
But we always find a way to make it out alive
Thought we were going strong
Thought we were holding on
Aren't we?

Mini bars, expensive cars, hotel rooms, and new tattoos
And the good champagne, and private planes, but they don't mean anything
'Cause the truth is out, I realize that without you here life is just a lie
This is not the end
This is not the end
We can make it, you know it, you know

So don't let me go
So don't let me go

We can live forever

Baby don't you know
Baby don't you know

We can live forever

Monday, February 1, 2016

What he was.

He was a hero,
facing the whole world in her name
he was a villain,
tormenting torturing her soul
he was a giver,
for every bit of his heart he gave her
he was a thief,
for his happiness stole hers

He was invincible,
he believed nothing could hurt him
he was broken,
irreparable, utterly, broken

He was a lot of things...
But in the end, love, at the very end...

He was a boy.
Yearning for the love.
Of a girl who was once his world.

Tuesday, December 1, 2015

I'll keep on functioning.

Today, i went on a lil outing with the whole family, you know, actually going out and going to places with a lot of people. Its been a while since i had to meet people.

At first, it was fine. It was actually kinda fun. Looking at people, silently judging them from afar. But at one point, I felt lonely. I mean, really lonely. Reason? The number of couples are too damn high. Yeah, I'll admit it. I never did recover. Im still broken. But today, the loneliness was unbearable. I was depressed even. I tried my best to conceal it. But my big sis picked up on my mood. After denying i had problems and changed the topic, i forced myself to be the cheerful and childish idiot that everybody sees.

It was hard, but i manage to pull it off somehow. I'm still able to push down every single emotion i have. Somehow, im still able to function.

Somehow....
But honestly, i don't think i can do this anymore...

Thursday, October 22, 2015

Da futureee

Do i think about the future? Yes. Yes i do. Every single day in fact. But it doesn't last too long. Too many uncertainties, too many things could go wrong. I guess to me, there's no point in worrying too much.

"Where do you see yourself in 5 years?" my mom once asked...
I just shrugged. Probably doing the same thing as I'm doing right now. Worrying. Contemplating. Hoping.

Hah! Hope. That's one word i haven't used in a while. What's there to hope when all hope is lost? But yes. Deep inside, very deep inside. Right next to the chasm that used to hold a heart, there's a little glimmer of hope. For what? I do not know. Back to the topic.

Where do i see myself in 5 years. I honestly don't know. But what i know is this:

1. I probably won't be in jail.
2. Would have enough money to support myself at least.
3. Still be the immature prick (shit, I'm 23 and still haven't mature yet, wtf?!)
4. Own a car. I mean cat. Well... a car's a lot less responsibility, so definitely a car.
5. Cure my hatred towards kids (a long shot, i know)
6. Have a smokin hot body (highly unlikely)
7. .....dammit, im running out of ideas.
8.
9.
10. Move on?

So yeah.... my life is a mystery. I like to surprise myself.

Due to recent events, im slowly beginning to be the victim of that stupid question.
Don't understand? Here, let me enlighten you.

My sister got engaged last year. So yeah... the cliche question "...qimi bile pulak?"
Dammit.
Who in their right mind would choose me?? Honestly... im a wreck. People without proper training wouldn't even last a day. Even if you can somehow tolerate me, i don't think anyone would ever fit the list...

What list? Now wouldn't you wanna know.....
The list of things i find attractive and a must have. The list existed after the last breakup. Yeah, that one.. the messy one, the one with blood and tears... jog your memory yet?

So, back to the list.
No, im not gonna show you the list. Not now at least.
The list is somewhat of a guideline. Not an actual rule. And that's all i have to say about that.

Yeah3, i know im way of point here, but it still connects with the theme.

With all things said and done, my future is still very uncertain. Well, who's is? All we can do is sit back, and enjoy the show...

Jaa nee