Short story

Been a while huh. So my girl is holding this writing contest for her coursework. I decided to write again. Haahah. Enjoy

A Journey’s End

     He lay there motionless, the cold slowly creeping to his core. He could hear the faint murmurs as the crowd gathers, a siren wailing in the distance. They say that when you’re about to die, your whole life flashes before you, but for this man, all he sees is one person. Auburn hair, soft emerald eyes, lips never without a smile. He holds this image dearly, focusing on a single moment in his life.

     He was holding her hand as he lays in bed. Her hair no longer, her eyes dull and lifeless. She was all too different now. He calls her name ever so softly and a smile broke onto her lips. That’s the smile he loved so very dearly. He feels a tremendous amount of guilt and sadness as she had gone long before him. All those years passed yet he still mourns for her. He still yearns for her touch. He cursed his fate for not being able to see her smile anymore. He breathed his last.

     I appear before him. His time on this plane has come to an end. I held out my hand and he took it. I guided him up to his feet. He looked down at his feet, the flesh that was him moments ago sprawled on the ground, the flowers he brought for her grave scattered. He looked at me with understanding and acceptance. “Will I see her there?” he asked, his voice trembled. I gave a slight nod and gently tug his shaking hand. As we walked to the light, I can hear her voice calling for his name. A gentle warmness envelops us as we step through the gates.

     I couldn’t help but smile. Its moments like this that I don’t hate what I do.

-Miqatsum

Im a human too.

    Recently someone has pulled the ''but you're a teacher'' card on me. Yea. I know. I'm tired of that fucking label. I'm a human too damnit. I'm not a teacher 24/7. I have my personality. And i damn well have my own me time. Why the fuck do i have to be pressed by the label of a teacher. Owh, I'm a teacher, i can't be myself on my own time? Owh, I'm a teacher, i have to be perfect, reflecting the aesthetics of a teacher all the fucking time? I can't curse. I can't have any fun. I have to be a perfect fucking role model every fucking second of my life? I have to bow my head SYMP all the fucking time? Is that it? Is that all i am?

No one's gonna consider the person behind the fucking label? I ain't worth shit if im not a teacher? I don't matter if i ain't a teacher?

Yea sure. I can fake it. I do it at school. Why don't i fucking do it all the time all my life. X susah pon kan. Easy. Cikgu kan. Xkan xboleh buat. We're just robots for the nation kan.

Salutations

Holy shit it's been a while...

Welp hello there anyone who's reading this. My apologies for not writing here in like...a year I guess...

Don't really got time to write stuff more than a few lines. Still...it's nice to write again. School is very stressful. But one good thing happened recently is that my girls hockey team won the district championship. That's cool. Sacrificed loads for that team. To finally get somewhere, it's a really good feeling. Winning something instead of always losing is quite refreshing. Welp... That's all the time i got.

Jaa ne.

Life

Life...
I really start to reexamine my life when people who are close to me took another step in their life. This realization that I tried to push down, dawned on me when my sister got married. I got nothing against my brother in law, but the moment they got married, I lost a lil part of my ohana. She took on the role of a wife, and I see her less and less. She's got a whole new life now... the person who I knew my whole life. My sister. I miss the time when she was only my sister. Mine.

And now, my cousin, my brother in arms, a dude who I really get along with (which is rare), whom I admired, the dude who was reckless and way more matured than I will ever be, has taken the next step. He got engaged. Congrats bro, I honestly feel happy for ya.

But somehow, im sad. Where am I in life? Haven't got a job. Have no money to my name. Still childish as hell... it got me thinking.
I was once so sure of my life. So confident of my path. That all changed when she betrayed me. I got lost. And being lost for sowords long changes you...

I trust a little less. I believe a little less.

Im already 24... and hell, im still a mess. What the fuck am I doing with my life...

'That's their road love, not yours'

Yeah... I know... but it still made me wonder.. what could've been... I've wasted 4 years of my life chasing something that I thought I wanted... and one word that could describe my feelings rite now is...

...abandoned.

Words could never truly reveal what is hidden behind this shattered ruins of what once was a heart. I will now and forevermore swallow my words, and keep moving on through this sickening, muddy life.

Saraba

another chapter.....

hey peeps... what up.
Not much to say really... just feel like writing stuff up.
Just last week i had the SPP interview.. which was a huge deal.
The weeks leading up to the interview was honestly the most nerve wrecking time of my life (so far)
Usually, I would be indifferent to the happenings that happens around me, wearing my fake smile and acting like nothing was wrong with the world. But this time, i was really shaken. I didn't sleep well, and even if i did, i'd have nightmares. I was SCARED. The interview would determine whether i'd be posted or not.
The info coming in about the probable questions for the interview really didn't help. It only made me feel even more inadequate in terms of knowledge. The predicted questions are factual and some of it are current issues. How current are we talking bout here? The last few months? Era of the Razak Report? TN50? National Educational Blueprint? DLP? See what i'm spouting off here? I mean like one of the predicted question was "how does rain form". Random much?
The uncertainties of the range of questions really stressed me out. Like come on, what does teaching english got to do with rain? In normal conditions, i have faith that i can spin out some bullshit to give an approximately accurate answer but under the circumstances of an interview? i'd be aaa.. aaa.. aaa..
I don't work well under pressure, so does everyone else. Im only human... (cue christina perri song)
And another thing. The name of the ministers and ministry in full. All the dato, dr, yb, tan sri, etc.

I HAVE A WEAKASS MEMORY, PEOPLE!

and im suppose to memorize all their names? Heck, i can't even remember my lecturers' names for crying out loud. Thus explaining my mental state at the moment. So much uncertainties, so many things to cover. Can you guess what i did? NOTHING. That's right. I did nothing. I was too stressed out to do anything so i just focused on my outfit for the interview and the documents, the things that i can control. And i look hella fineee, if i say so myself. Don't believe me? Look look look...

  

 

 my...my.... who is that handsome devil? Owh shit, rite. Back to the story. 

THE INTERVIEW.

i woke up at 5.15. on the very first alarm. and i think to myself. Me waking up on the first alarm, that's some ominous shit rite there. So the time that i have, i spent calming myself and trying to be positive. And then the wait. Shit, the wait was unbearable. The interview was done in sessions, each sessions 5-6 people would go in. It was a group interview, thus vamping up the ante even more. The interview was suppose to start at 7.30 and well, Malaysians, what do you expect... it started around 8 something. (was too nervous to look at the watch.) It was not until 9.15 that i was called with 4 other people. By the time i was called, i had pretty much calmed down but i was literally shaking standing in front of the door before being let in. The first thing we had to do was introduce ourselves and we did. I almost bit my tongue trying to get words outta my mouth. 

and then it happened. One of the interviewee volunteered to give answers at the same time as me and the polite dance of "go ahead..its okeyh...you first..." actually made me laugh a lil. And everything was smooth sailing from then on. By the end of the interview, i can even make jokes with these strangers. The questions asked were relatively easy, geared towards opinions and ideas rather than facts. Well, that really helped. A LOT. When the interview was over, and we all stepped out of the room, wanna know what's the first thing i said? "Menyesal je stress seminggu"

I was honestly relieved. that part was done. Now what's left is to await the results and prepare for a new chapter in my life...

what? You think this post is about giving tips to people who are going to interview? Hell no... im a selfish, self centered son of a gun remember... every post is all about me.

owh yeah. Hats off to the sumandak who kept level headed all throughout the worst week of my life so far. 

dosvedanya.