Changes.

So hey... been a while dear blog thingy.

Recently, there have been quite a few major changes in my life. One of em is that i am now unemployed. Wu hoo!
Upside: got a whole lot of time for myself.
Downside: im broke af.

I managed to finish my studies (somehow...im not sure) and now im awaiting interview and hopefully posting. Here's hoping.

Another major change is that i found a cute lil junior to keep me company. Well... that's last year's story. Now its ex junior? Hmmm... Well anyways, she's a real weird kid. Just the way i like it. Hahahahaha

Some backstory: She's from Sabah, lives in a cave surrounded by thick jungle. She loves her monkey neighbors.

Pfttt.... Kidding. She's a real cool chick. A bit of a loner (just like me) and have a real stupid sense of humor. She's a real piece of work. And to top it off, she's cute as f**k! And she's short! Well, not midget short. That'd just be weird (no offense to midgets). And man does she have curves.... *mouthwatering*

Another big change is that i managed to maintain my weight. I ain't a stick figure/living skeleton anymore. Yeayyyyy.

Well that's all for now. Adieu.

He.

He loved. Every single time.
He gave his all, held nothing back
and every time he ends up broken and hurt.

He convinced his tattered heart
too many times, he lost count
for each hit he took he wondered when will it be his last.

He loved. Every single time.
Yet for every time he loved
a piece of him will die, lost and never found.

He often told his reflection
to keep his chin up, smile
and steady his trembling heart.

He loved. Every single time.
The only way he knew how
raw, without restraints.

He loved with all he had. Everything.
And now, he has no more.

History - One Direction

You gotta help me, I'm losing my mind
Keep getting the feeling you wanna leave this all behind
Thought we were going strong
I thought we were holding on
Aren't we?

No, they don't teach you this in school
Now my heart's breaking and I don't know what to do
Thought we were going strong
Thought we were holding on
Aren't we?

You and me got a whole lot of history (oh)
We could be the greatest team that the world has ever seen
You and me got a whole lot of history (oh)
So don't let it go, we can make some more, we can live forever

All of the rumors, all of the fights
But we always find a way to make it out alive
Thought we were going strong
Thought we were holding on
Aren't we?

You and me got a whole lot of history (oh)
We could be the greatest team that the world has ever seen
You and me got a whole lot of history (oh)
So don't let it go, we can make some more, we can live forever

Mini bars, expensive cars, hotel rooms, and new tattoos
And the good champagne, and private planes, but they don't mean anything
'Cause the truth is out, I realize that without you here life is just a lie
This is not the end
This is not the end
We can make it, you know it, you know

You and me got a whole lot of history (oh)
We could be the greatest team that the world has ever seen
You and me got a whole lot of history (oh)
So don't let it go, we can make some more, we can live forever

You and me got a whole lot of history (oh)
We could be the greatest team that the world has ever seen
You and me got a whole lot of history (oh)
So don't let it go, we can make some more, we can live forever

So don't let me go
So don't let me go

We can live forever

Baby don't you know
Baby don't you know

We can live forever

What he was.

He was a hero,
facing the whole world in her name
he was a villain,
tormenting torturing her soul
he was a giver,
for every bit of his heart he gave her
he was a thief,
for his happiness stole hers

He was invincible,
he believed nothing could hurt him
he was broken,
irreparable, utterly, broken

He was a lot of things...
But in the end, love, at the very end...

He was a boy.
Yearning for the love.
Of a girl who was once his world.

I'll keep on functioning.

Today, i went on a lil outing with the whole family, you know, actually going out and going to places with a lot of people. Its been a while since i had to meet people.

At first, it was fine. It was actually kinda fun. Looking at people, silently judging them from afar. But at one point, I felt lonely. I mean, really lonely. Reason? The number of couples are too damn high. Yeah, I'll admit it. I never did recover. Im still broken. But today, the loneliness was unbearable. I was depressed even. I tried my best to conceal it. But my big sis picked up on my mood. After denying i had problems and changed the topic, i forced myself to be the cheerful and childish idiot that everybody sees.

It was hard, but i manage to pull it off somehow. I'm still able to push down every single emotion i have. Somehow, im still able to function.

Somehow....
But honestly, i don't think i can do this anymore...