expect the unexpected

At a certain point of our lives, we would hear this little phrase..

'expect the unexpected'...i heard it who knows when...

...and it's stuck in my head ever since..

i applied it in my daily life..i try and expect everything...

i plan for everything....

then i learned something that i should have learnt a very long time ago...

.....ACCEPTANCE....

yeah, prepare for every occasion, every outcome...

but predicting the outcome and come to terms with them, are two different things....

i prepare myself for the worse, but unfortunately, i haven't yet find it in me to accept the outcome...

some say that our brain is similar to the central processing unit in a computer, so like any super computer, i develop a backup plan, a firewall.

i discard the lifelong phrase of expect the unexpected..

and replaced it with a new program...

EXPECT NOTHING...

that way, less damage...

expect nothing and hope for nothing....

and the pain would be gone....

crisis averted...no fuss....no hurt..

things would be a lot easier....

adieu..

i need some guidance

what i still don't get, is women.
i don't have a clue about them.. it's so hard to please them...if you do one thing, its not right....
but when you do the other thing, it's still not right....
i'm like a rag doll, being toss around...doing one thing after another..only to find everything i do is wrong.
i raking my brain, trying to do what i think is right...
but still, nothing...
i can't do one thing right.....

in every situation, i would be the bad guy...
i would be the cause...in short, THE PROBLEM.

it is very hard to survive in this ever so changing world....
i did what i think the only safest thing to do was to follow every single thing she wants, but still...
nope...nada...zip...there's no winning.


that's enough for now...

my weakness.

well, everyone has a weakness..

mine is chocolate..its like kryptonyte to me..

i just can't resist those little brown stuff...it's addictive...i've been testing a lot of different chocolate just to find the best kind...

there's chocolate ice cream, chocolate cake, and chocolate almost anything!!
one thing i don't like when added to chocolate is nuts.
more or less, i hate nuts. i'm not allergic or anything i just hate them. it destroys the originality of the chocolate..
well, a little nuts would destroy anything right? :)
you know, nuts...as in madness... owh, you got that? okeyh :) carry on~

well, that's enough of the cover up story :) all being true, that's not my kryptonite
my weakness is PRIDE...
yeah, like the pride of the seven sins...yeah, that kind of pride..
i'm sometimes (most times) will not yield to things just because of my pride...
yeah, some may say im an arrogant bastard, so what? i couldn't care less of what other people think of me..
me lowering my pride? sure, done that lots of times... swore never to repeat it again, yup, done that lots of time too...alas, the world is not kind to the proud...
time has shown the downfall of pride but it is wired to my very existence...i blame my father for this..
his pride is often followed by his WRATH...a very deadly combination....
me? i'm just thankful that i inherit at least some of my mother's patience...

at least am better than my old man huh? well, it's something...
my wrath is still as badass as my old man, but hey, an apple doesn't fall far from the tree...
you get what you're given...
my wrath would more often than not effects my judgment..did some very stupid stuff because i was fueled by wrath...and....regretted it afterwards...that's how my life is folks...
most times, my wrath would get the better of me... heck, all my weakness would get the better of me...
some of the reason for my wrath are reasonable, most are not...i'm idiot like that...
lately, my wrath would not just burn a raging fire and die out.... it would just cool down and become a peace of amber...ready to be ignited again... ignites and burns even hotter than before....
that's just....dangerous...damn....

next in my list of weakness, i have ENVY...
i never had a reason to be envious before...but now, hell, i get envious at the smallest of things...
well, not much to say about envy...
after all, is really close to its best friend, GREED...
well, greed i know pretty well....
it has been in me as long as i can remember....i used to call myself a collector just to cover the fact that i am greedy...
i want everything... i want them all... and when i want something, i want all of it....
for example, i want my girlfriend... i would want everything from her... her time, her attention.... everything...
and when i don't get what i want, envy will take over, followed by pride and wrath....

another defect of mine is GLUTTONY... i eat... a lot.....
i can eat almost anything...i can eat almost any quantity....
and a curse of mine is i don't get fat....i'm just...constant...
i want to gain weight, but i can't.... i just stay the way i am...
even if i gain some weight, i'll lose it faster than i can gain...
i'm slightly underweight but i eat like someone who is over...

well, im getting tired of writing....so, maybe i'll continue some other time....relating to SLOTH and LUST...
come to think of it, maybe the title should be my seven sins...
.....nahh...im to damn lazy to change anything...
let it be....


adieu~